If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
