I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
