He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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