Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
