and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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