I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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