Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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