brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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