Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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