Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
