Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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