Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
