Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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