what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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