just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
