we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
