R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
