She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
