I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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