Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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