Dual....:-)
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
