the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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