I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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