I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
