Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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