Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
