Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
