Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
