i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
