whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
