it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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