Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
