Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
