oh fat girl friday strikes again...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize