i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
