Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
