I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
