My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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