Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
