I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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