so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
