she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
