I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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