Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
