Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Pooping to opera.
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