but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
