Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
