You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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