IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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