...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
