I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
